Is it okay to bash people on WIC and SNAP? 37
I’ve been called many names since starting this blog. I’ve been called a “welfare whore.” I’ve been called lazy, greedy, and rude. I’ve been called a hypocrite and a moocher. I’ve been cursed at, judged, and questioned constantly. I think it’s about time I speak against the hate.
It almost always happens in the comments section by someone who chooses not to be notified of follow-up comments (interesting…), and by someone who decides to remain anonymous (though that’s certainly not always the case). From this, I gather a couple things about people who leave such comments.
- They have a strong opinion about taking advantage of programs like WIC and SNAP, and they feel they need to share their opinion. They also feel that their opinion should be the opinion that all people embrace. But they also don’t want their opinion to taint their reputation, else they would leave their name.
- They aren’t usually interested in a discussion about these programs, or else they would want to be notified when someone replies to their comment. They simply want to make it clear that if anyone doesn’t hold their opinion, they are a hypocritical, greedy, lazy welfare whore.
Why do people think this is okay? I can certainly understand that people would disagree with my participation in nutritional assistance programs such as WIC and SNAP. These are pretty controversial topics. But where did basic human decency go? And do you really think calling me derogatory names strengthens your argument? What good does that do?
I’ll tell you exactly what name-calling does. It makes you sound like a raving insensitive uneducated troll.* It doesn’t cause me to rethink my position at all, it causes me to pray for the future of our nation. I’m reminded over and over again that we live in a broken world. Yes, our economy is broken, and our government is broken, but even more than that, people are broken.
It’s not okay to call people names. This is something we learned in Kindergarten. I love to have civil conversations about these programs. That’s part of the reason I started this blog. But please, before you comment, ask yourself if you’d talk that way to your mother. Thanks!
*I wrote the bit about sounding like a “raving insensitive uneducated troll” mostly for comedic effect. I realize that I’m calling people names for calling me names. Please forgive me if you can’t take a joke. Thanks!
Great post. Also, a few notes on other things I’ve noticed on this blog. I’m surprised to see people using verbiage like “if the govt is going to feed you”. Wow. I figured this blog would be a place for support, not denigration. Fortunately, the information and kindness shown by the author outweighs any negatives thrown off by the comments. To clarify, the government doesn’t feed me or my baby. I DO. I work full time and have a college degree. WIC helps me afford a car and shelter and everything else I need to take care of a baby. No, not cable TV. We have PBS. lol
I hate the term “entitlement programs”. It makes it sound as if I feel that the government should “take care” of me. These programs are here for temporary help, and believe me, WIC is helping us immensely and I’m extremely grateful. Also, the author of this blog should not feel at all less of a human being for being on WIC and food stamps. Trolls will be trolls. Trolls are gonna hate even if they agree 100% with you, you know that. The psychology behind trolling is pretty icky and complicated. They are broken people. Would you listen to people like that face-to-face? Ignore them.
Thanks for those who are supportive, for those who are trashing us, go give yourself a swirly. ;)
Yes you are mooching off the system, because you CHOOSE not to work, even though you are ablebodied. That is just wrong on a moral and ethical level. If you were working and still needed help, then you would get no argument from me about being on assistance or if you were unable to work due to medical conditions such as myself. Part of being there for one’s family is to provide for them to the best of your ability and that includes working. Do I think you are misusing the system, byt refusing to work, yes you are. I call it mooching and leeching. If you feel the need to be their for your kids, not put them in daycare and to homeschool, your husband could pick up a part time job or better yet work opposite shifts so that one parent is always at home with the child. Even if you were just working on the weekends, would that not bring in some extra money? At least it would show you were making an attempt to better yourself.
I do work (substitute teach), and we still need help. So according to what you’ve said in your comment, would you please stop the hate?
You’ve mentioned in several of your comments that you’re unable to work due to a medical condition. But it seems you’re still able to think and type. There are many jobs you could get that wouldn’t require you to leave your home computer. Blogging is one of them (which is another source of income for us…). If you aren’t even doing that much, it appears you’re the one choosing not to work. I’ve yet to bring this up in our conversations with one another because I give you the benefit of the doubt rather than attacking you for your decisions. But if a guy with no arms and no legs (Nick Vujicic) is able to make a living, I think nearly everyone can find some way to make a little money.
I do apologize if your medical condition truly makes you unable to blog or write a book. And if that’s the case, I find it remarkable that you’ve left so many comments on my blog.
I am going back to school to finish my degree so that I can get a job that I can do and I do free lance writing in my spare time.. so yes I am doing something to improve myself. I have renal failure due to a congential defect, so I am on dialysis twice a week. I am deaf in my left ear totally and losing it in my right ear. I also have a severe back injury from an auto accident when I was 18, that somedays leaves me in such pain that Mt. Everest seems more attainable then getting out of bed. I cannot sit or stand for long periods of time. I worked very hard until my auto accident and then did my best afterwards until I can no longer because of the severe pain. I have had to file for disabilty again. hopefully I will get it. It just irks me that people who can work will choose not, but those of us who cannot would give our eyeteeth too. Hopefully once I finish my degree in Business Administration. If it was not for my cheap laptop and internet connection going to school would not be an option as I cannot leave the house for long periods of time. So I attend online, which has been my salvation. So while I spend many hours a day on the PC I am usualy studying my ass off.
Proud of you for working hard! I do apologize for being so brazen in bringing it up. I was under the impression that you weren’t doing any work. I stand corrected.
I guess my point is that we all have a story. I fully support you in yours, and hope that you’re able to get the education and career that you’re hoping for and working towards.
Stephanie, you are letting your bitterness over your unfortunate disabilities color your opinions and you are directing your bitterness toward the stay at home mom because you do not perceive that she “works.” Consider what work is and read my earlier comment to you. Actually, if she were to go get a job, she literally would “be there for her family” less. Out of sad necessity, sometimes a mother MUST work outside of the home, for example if she doesn’t have a husband, whose job it is, by the way to “provide.” Provision is a part of a father’s vocation, a mother’s is to nurture. You are so centered on your own pain that you are allowing yourself to hate these slackers or ” moochers”. Has it ever occurred to you that it is a sacrifice for an able bodied woman to stay home with her children and give up a higher income and the satisfaction, validation, and prestige that work outside of the home bring? Yet, a sacrifice made for one’s children is worthwhile. When mommy goes to work, who pays the price? What do you think a child would miss more, some luxury item or mommy’s presence during formative years? Furthermore, I speak from experience, children “better” their mothers in all sorts of unforeseen ways. They give one a better glimpse into human nature, a better understanding of one’s self, teach one to be truly unselfish, teach one to truly love, and help rid one of vanities, for example. Your idea of “betterment” is quite limited and shortsighted.
Mommy can work when Daddy is at home. Even if that is on the weekends or in the evening. Im not bitter about my disabilities thank you very much. I accept my limitations. What bothers me is able bodied people who are able to work, but simply choose not and take govt aid. It makes it very difficult for those of us with disabilities and health issues to get the help we need and dodge the stereotypes. If the mother is unwed it is her job to provide for her children and that means go out and get a job. Many women do it and without complaint, because they want to care for their kids. Is it the taxpayers responsibility to pay for a woman to stay home so she can raise her kids? I didnt ask for that guy to slam into my car and injure my back. I didnt ask to be born with a congenital kidney defect. However, most unplanned pregnancies are preventable. If you on the dole use birth control.
“Mommy can work while daddy is as home”? For some people, it’s not that simple. My husband has a job where he is on call every other week in the evenings and he works almost every Saturday as well. Try telling your potential employer, “Well, I can work nights, but only every other week, and you can’t really count on me coming in on Saturdays either” and see how far you get in the interview process. I have been looking for a job for some time now, but with my limited skill set, I get turned away from jobs left and right (even low paying service sector jobs) as soon as I tell them my scheduling limitations. Most jobs that I qualify for flat out tell you “Must be willing to work flexible schedule, including nights and weekends.” I just went on an interview last week…it went wonderfully until it got to the part where he said I would have to work until 7 every night and work every Saturday. The afterschool daycare program my twins would be in only stays open until 6, and my husband usually doesn’t even get off until then, but some nights he has to stay even later. Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving up my search. I still put in applications daily for any job I think I would qualify for and that would offset the cost of childcare, but you need to realize that life is not all black and white. Just as you have many circumstances that have put you where you are in your life that are out of your control, other people share similar difficulties. p.s. – I am going to assume that you have not been actively in the “job market” recently. I worked hard for many years of my life, and even earned a college degree, but because I chose to stay at home with my twins while they were not of school age (the cost of putting three children – I have an older child as well- in full time childcare is staggering, almost more than I could even hope to make in a week of full time employment), I have been out out of the job market for some time now. It is hard as hell to find people willing to take a chance on hiring a mom who is re-entering the workforce. I know that a job that will work with our families schedule will come along, but for now, all I can do is search and hope, and do whatever it takes to feed my family in the meantime. Your bitterness and complete lack of empathy for anyone else’s position is startling. Don’t presume to know what anyone else has the ability to do with their life unless you are in their shoes! There are often circumstances that you know nothing about.
I just found this blog, and thank you. I started on WIC this week after my doctor became concerned about my lack of weight gain during my pregnancy. I keep it a secret, even from my family and friends, and shop at a different grocery store with my vouchers, because I am afraid of being judged. My husband is deployed and I am trying to find a job after relocating, but it’s hard to be taken seriously by interviewers once you have a baby bump. I had no idea how “poor” we were until my WIC counselor showed me the poverty line. I feel like I’m in between a rock and a hard place, but I am so grateful for WIC. Thanks for your blog, it really resonates with me.
PS – Oftentimes it makes a lot more sense for a mom to stay at home with her kids than to put her them in childcare, unless you make more than the cost of childcare ($1000/ mo per child minimum) plus all your other baby expenses. And what mom really wants to put her kids in the care of strangers if her net gain after all costs is only $500-1000? Bonding time with my baby is worth more to me but I’m guessing Stephanie does not have children.
I have had two children in fact, one I buried and the other is nine years old. I do understand the need to bond with a child. I had to go back to work when my son was 3 weeks old, not because I wanted to, but because I HAD too. My ex husband and I had to work to provide for our son because we had to provide a roof over his head, food for him and clothes for him. I never had to put him daycare thank God, but my mother watched him and I did get help from DSS to pay her. Perhaps I should not have, but at the time we needed that extra income to provide for him. I could not afford to stay home and for most families that is the reality. It is sad that the military pays its members so little that they should have to rely on any form of govt assistance. My brother and his wife have to rely on food stamps and he has done a tour in both Iraq and Afghanistan. But they only have one child and his wife works.
Stephanie, did you abort your baby? If that is the cause of your pain and your anti-life sentiment, know that God still loves you and wants to forgive you if only you desire His mercy. There are resources available to you as well, such as Rachel’s Vineyard, which has helped many women wounded by abortions find peace. However the death of your baby came about, I’m so sorry for your profound loss. May Our Blessed Mother, who lost her Son under horrid circumstances, put her loving arms around you. May she comfort you in your experience and lead you closer to her Son. May she mother your child until you meet your child again. Amen.
No I DID NOT abort my baby! She was stillborn at 20.5 weeks.
Believing that all people should have access to reproductive health care is not anti life. I would prefer to prevent ALL ELECTIVE abortions by access to free contraception. I would think the prolife or as I call them probirth lobby would be in favour of contraception to those who want it. Yet they oppose that too. I personally oppose elective abortions because most if not all are preventable. However I dont think its the govt place to tell a woman she cannot have one and I think a poor woman should not have to bear an unwanted pregnancy for lack of the money. No woman should have to bear a child she does not want, but she also needs to take precautions to prevent them. Telling a rape victim she has to bear that child is cruel beyond anything.
No part of the “reproductive health care” that you are talking about is good for a WOMAN’S health. Hormonal contraception increases her risk of breast cancer 300-400% and increases her risk for blood clots while abortion also increase her risk of breast cancer, can cause miscarriages in subsequent pregnancies, or premature births, can cause perforation of her uterus, hemorrhage, infection and even death (www.abortionbreastcancer.com ,Dr. Angela Lanfranchi and a Human Life Alliance rep). We haven’t mentioned yet the other negative impacts it has on women; guilt, suicide, destroyed marriages and relationships and the harm it does to her immortal soul. If you truly cared about a woman’s health, you would want her to have access to nutritious wic foods. As to why pro-life people don’t promote contraception, It’s been explained to you elsewhere that “contra” “ception” is literally “against” “life.” I’ve also clearly explained what its acceptable alternative, NFP, is, but you didn’t really want to hear it. In fact, you don’t listen well and you repeat yourself often. I wonder if you ever consider a thing that anyone else expresses on this site or if you are just looking for a vehicle to vent your constant discontent. You have mentioned at least 3 times in recent history that you don’t think it is the government’s place to tell a poor woman she can’t have an abortion, yet you do think it is your place to tell her she should have one. Do you realize that you are imposing your theology on the poor woman? Also, I find it very interesting that you say that you have had 2 children, obviously recognizing the personhood of your stillborn child and yet you fail to recognize the personhood of the ” fetus.” How does that work? What’s your rationale?
Do you have links to a medical source that abortion causes breast cancer? Because most medical authorities would disagree with that. Person hood of the fetus comes when it can live independently outside the body of mother.. viability. So I would not say my daughter was fully a person yet. Would I ever outright tell a stranger to have an abortion.. no.In some cases I think it would have been better for some women to abort, than to have the children be neglected and abused. Foster care for these children can be worse than the situation that CPS may have removed them from. I am not a fan of infant adoption or the adoption industry, which to me is nothing more than legalized human trafficking where rich people pay thousands of dollars for that perfect womb wet infant. They dont want the children in foster care who have been neglected and abused because they are too old and defective. The children that need a home and love the most are the ones who PAP refuse to adopt. You hear the prolife lobby say there are many families who want to adopt, but there is a shortage of children. That is crap! We have over 100,000 foster kids who are available for adoption, yet these people will not touch them. We should care for the kids already here, not worry about the ones who have not yet been born. How many of these children have you adopted?
PAP? While I have not adopted any children yet, my husband and I continue to pray for discernment regarding the matter as we have done since the beginning of our marriage. We have serious reasons for not having or adopting a child now, but down the road…?To us it would not matter much if the child was “perfect”, so long as it was a child to love, because whatever we do for the least of His, we do for Him. The waiting lists are not ” crap”, I know people who’ve been on them. My sister-in-law had a baby as a teenager, which she gave up for adoption to a very loving family who had waited a long time. She, by the way, feels very blest by her decision. She and the child’s adoptive parents have decided throughout the years to keep in contact. She knows that she made the best decision for her baby in that situation, and is glad that she gets to visit her baby, now a young woman and have a relationship with her.
Regarding the medical source for the breast cancer abortion connection, I have 17. A friend of mine, a representative for Human Life Alliance, has offered to e- mail these major scientific studies to you in their entirety. Understanding that you may be desirous of not posting your e-mail address publicly, she has given you hers, so that you may contact her with your e-mail. Aolson@humanlife.org. She will be out of the office until Tuesday, so she will not respond to any e-mails until then.
Think on whatever is lovely, good night.
Right here you state that when your child needed childcare, you had a mother who was there to help you care for him so you could work and not have to put him in daycare! Do you realize how much money that saved you? What if, like so many of us (myself included), you didn’t have anyone to help you in that way? What if you had been forced to pay the cost of childcare yourself? What if you had to schedule your job around the hours of a non-familial sitter or daycare? What if you had to work odd hours, or nights, or weekends? What if your job barely covered the cost of the childcare? What if you had discovered that your employment would only net you $30 a week more than what the childcare itself cost you (as I discovered when I found a job while my twins were toddlers)? Would you still think putting your kid in daycare was the best choice for your family? I’m sorry, but being away from my kids all day and sticking them with a bunch of strangers to make a whopping $30 after I payed the $300 dollar a week daycare cost did not make sense to me! You may not have received ‘government’ assistance, but unless you were paying your mom minimum wage for every hour she watched your child, you DID receive assistance – assistance that most working mothers don’t have the luxury to receive, yet you look down your nose at moms who have to take govt. assistance because they work minimum wage and STILL have to pay for childcare out of pocket, then can’t afford food. For shame!
I worked 3 jobs for the first five years of my son’s life at the same time. One full time and two part time, so that other than the WIC, we recieved no help for most of that time. If you are a two parent family, you can scheduale to work opposite hours so that one parent is always home with the children. If your income is low enough, the state will offer daycare assistance, so that you can work, which I think for someone who wants to better themselves with education or work is great.
Whoever forced you to work 3 jobs with a new baby was very unmerciful to you. They plucked the infant from your breast.
It makes no sense that you’re telling Traci that she shouldn’t accept wic, yet should accept daycare assistance. It would seem that you think wic stay at home mothers are lazy, but daycare assistance is ok because those mothers work. Being a stay at home mom IS WORK. A stay at home mom spends the day preparing meals, cleaning, sometimes schooling yet always teaching her young. It is a LABOUR of love. Her existence is anticipating and meeting the needs of those in her house. What happens if no one goes grocery shopping? If no one prepares meals? If no one does dishes or laundry? If no one spends time with the little ones? Her job is not glamorous and is seldom recognized, yet life could not go on smoothly or pleasantly without her. Self-sacrifice is difficult to practice, and yet it is the path of sanctity for many. Whoever would follow Christ would deny herself, pick up her cross, and follow (mt 16:24).
Assistance from family or church is nothing to be ashamesd of if one needs it. They should be the first source for any help before turning to the govt. So no I do not feel ashamed for turning to my mum for help, because that is what families do or supposed to do anyway. But choosing to be on GA for any reason just so you can stay home is abusing the system.
I don’t have a mother who can watch my child, much less the ability to pay that mother. If I put my son in daycare so I could work we would be making a negative amount of money. I cannot get help with childcare from the state until I am already working, and even then I would be on a waiting list.
Should I work so someone else raises my child and we have even less money than we do now…?
I cannot get a job that is opposite my husband’s job. I have been trying for 10 months, so unless YOU would like to hire me…?
I wish I had the blessed life you lead, to not only have a mother who could watch my child but the ability to pay her as well!
I worked because I could not afford NOT to. I had bills to pay. Rent, car, electric, insurance, food etc. If I didnt work, we did not eat. I worked 3 jobs 1 full 2 part time at one time while my ex husband worked his full time job and went to school. Most people cannot afford not to work. So yes I was blessed to have my mum watch my son, as families are supposed to help each other out.
Anon, I used to be very pro adoption until a friend of mine in college was forced to give her child up for adoption, yes forced by her good Catholic parents. They did not want the shame of having a daughter who had a child out of wedlock. She wanted to keep her baby, but was told she was too young too selfish she was told for wanting to keep her baby… with the right support she would have been a great mum. I lost touch after she gave teh child up for adoption. I ran into her mum about 4 years ago in a Walmart, when I asked how she was faring her mum held back tears and informed me that my friend hung herself, yes killed herself because she could not deal with the grief of losing her child. I was raised in a kinship arrangement by my aunt and uncle, but was never legally adopted. I belong to an online support group of adult adopteexand those raised in similar arrangements such as myself. Most adoptees are frustrated because they cannot get access to their records and the adoption system in this country is crap. We have many children in foster care who needs homes. where are the good Christian people opening up their homes to these kids. Ive talked with mothers who have surrendered, many compare the loss to having a child die, if not worse. Adoption does not guarantee a better life , just a different one. It does not protect a child from a broken home or abuse. Of course that is digressing.
Nothing about life is guaranteed, but adoption is at least a guarantee of life; to live as one wills instead of the popular alternative, abortion, which only guarantees death. My sister-in- law was actually in the abortion clinic…the experience of it was too horrific for her. She left. She knew she couldn’t take care of the baby as she was quite young. The Catholic adoption agency offered her an alternative she could live with. Your friend’s story is very sad. I don’t understand though how a college aged woman could be forced into an adoption. Adults make their own decisions. If she could be emotionally swayed into such a decision, that would suggest a vulnerability/instability that was perhaps a factor in her suicide. Those adoptees who are frustrated by not being able to gain access to records, aren’t they glad to be alive? Raised in a kinship arrangement, aren’t you glad to be alive? While perhaps you or they would have preferred your birth parents, aren’t you glad that your mother chose life?
Lots of women have been forced to give their kids up for adoption? Are you familiar with the babyscoop era? Every person has a God given right to know their heritage and medical information. That is part of the UN Convention on the Right of the Child. Your sister in law made the CHOICE that was right for her. I may not agree with adoption and the system, but I respect her CHOICE to surrender. The system itself needs to be reformed, but that is another issue. My friend was 18 years old, fresh out of high school very young, her parents were still supporting her and paying for education. She was told if she kept the baby, they would kick her out , quit paying for her to go to school and they would not acknowledge the child. She would be disowned. I dont know the exact details, but coercion was involved in her case, she wanted to parent, because she was a good prolife Catholic. That choice was taken from her. I am not against WIC or GA for those who have found themselves in her situation or similar… people use bad judgement and make mistakes. What I am against, as Ive said before having more kids while on GA and refusing to work if able bodied. You can ask us if we are glad to be alive etc.. am I? Sometimes I am and sometimes no. My kidney defect is a result of my mums drug use.. I prefer not to go into the private details. Yes, Im glad that I had my aunt and uncle to step up and do the right thing. I think many women who surrender are in a temporary bind and adoption is a permamant solution. Ideally a family should step in to offer help, maybe even if that means a relative takes the baby until mum can get on her feet. It is easy to say that adopted children should be grateful to be alive,,, but everyone has the right to know where they came from. I think when it comes to adoption and the care of orphans.. the Muslim have it right and us Christians have got it wrong.
I’ve never heard of the ” baby scoop” era. Is it still going on? Still, if your friend was “coerced,” that’s not quite the same as ” forced,” unless you’re telling me that her parents were legally able to make her? Perhaps she had wicked parents, but perhaps they really thought they were doing what was right for her and the baby. Even if you were a close friend, they probably knew her better. It’s easy to say that they should have stepped in to help her raise the child, but perhaps they were ill equipped by some reason known only by them and God. We should avoid the temptation to judge, because really, we don’t know.
I don’t know what the Muslims do about adoption or orphans. If they take orphans off the street and into their homes as their own children as soon as they see them, then I think they got it right too. It would be ideal for adoptees to know their heritage and medical history. I don’t know much about it, but I suspect it may be a bit problematic if mom chooses to remain anonymous.
I wasn’t suggesting that you should be grateful to mom for bad decisions, just glad to be alive(most of the time), the credit mostly due to your Creator, who loved you into existence. Giving Him thanks might not be a bad idea. Amidst bad decisions, your mother did make a good one…bearing you to term. Your life is rife with misfortunes and yet, it is beautiful and precious. I know you well enough to insist that God made you completely unique and unrepeatable. He endowed you with passion, and intelligence and the world would not be the same without you. Stephanie, I’m glad you’re alive.
Muslims believe to take in an orphan is one of the noblest of actions. But they do not believe in adoption in the Western sense. So you do not call the child your own, although you may love them of as your own. The child retains the name of their birth family, inherits from them and it is considered a grave sin to take the inheritance from an orphan.You are the child’s guardian, not their parent. Coercion and force are the same thing in any decision and in many cases can render contracts, even adoption invalid. The babyscoop era from the 1940′s through the 70′s was the era when girls who found themselves pregnant outside of marriage were often sent to maternity homes and forced to give their children up for adoption. They were shamed and told to forget about their children and get on with life. Many of these homew were run by the RCC btw. Do I think it is still going on? Yes I do, especially with conservatives and their war on women. We are seeing the return of maternity homes in this country, ran by many religious organizations. Perhaps to me adoption is just very anti family values.. in my family we dont give our offspring to strangers.. if the parents cannot care for them then a relative steps in. I do not know how any parent could let their granchild be adopted by strangers.. I really do not. I could not handle not knowing if they were ok, were they being abused, happy etc. Open adoptions are a carrot on the string to get many women to surrender….open adoption agreements are not legally enforcable. Adoptive parents can and do in many cases close them once the ink on the adoption papers are dry. This is what happened to my friend.. she was told she could see her baby, she could have cards, letters and visits.. as soon as the papers were signed.. the adoptive parents just dissappeared. My friend to them was not a human being, but a brood mare. They were nice to her, gave her gifts etc to get her to get the baby.. she told them she wanted to parent.. but it would break their hearts the PAP said and her parents of course threatened to disown her and kick her and the baby out into the cold. Below are links you might find interesting.
http://www.divinecaroline.com/33/84887-baby-scoop-era-forced-give
http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/16240213/The_GOPs_War_On_Women_A_Return_To_The_Baby_Scoop_Era
http://www.exiledmothers.com
“THE WICKED SNATCH FATHERLESS CHILDREN FROM THEIR MOTHER’S BREASTS, AND TAKE A POOR MAN’S BABY AS A PLEDGE BEFORE THEY WILL LOAN HIM ANY MONEY OR GRAIN” –Job 24:9–
That was a very apt quote, interestingly it’s not in my Bible. There’s no way I can address all of the issues your comment brought up in the amount of time I have, you’ll have to forgive me. I was surprised to see some interesting parallels between adoption and abortion. The exiled mothers source quoted a mother saying,”contrary to popular belief, mothers don’t go on in this world after ‘giving up’ a child, enjoying their lives and forgetting the child ever existed…most of us grieve for years.” This is exactly the way I’ve heard post abortive mothers speak about their loss. Striking. Also, did you know that most (64%) women in America who have abortions are “coerced” into it (www.unfairchoice.info/intro.htm and http://www.mccl.org/forced-abortion.html). While adoption is imperfect, it still beats the abortion alternative. Part of the reason for the decline in adoption since the “baby scoop” era is that women have aborted their babies instead. If it is difficult to bear having given up a child, imagine how it must feel knowing that you murdered your child. The baby scoop info that I had time to read was interesting. I believe there’s some truth to it, but some things don’t add up. For example, one of the sites claimed that the adoption industry was competing with Russia and China to produce more American babies. I think in one of your posts you said that they used the mothers as “breeders” too. But, the adoption industry didn’t produce babies, the maternity homes didn’t produce babies, promiscuous girls did. I don’t think it was an accident that the beginning of the baby scoop era coincided with Margaret Sanger forming planned parenthood and creating a nationwide network of birth control clinics in 1942(Wikipedia). A false sense of security in birth control changed behavior. Sex supposedly without consequences results in more sex, really resulting in more babies to be adopted. I’m not sure if I believe that people were trying to punish unwed mothers. Maybe some were. The culture was so different. It was considered shameful because people recognized the 6th commandment and a pregnancy was the visible sign that a sin had been committed. In a more religious society, the role of the husband/father was also valued more than it is today. People got married, the father was a glimpse to his children of what their Heavenly Father would be like. He was also the main breadwinner. People probably really believed that a baby would be better off in a family, with a mother and a father and the stability a father would bring. Few people care about the father or family today and it’s changing our society. Then too, perhaps because society was more religious, maybe there was the thought amongst the mothers that although they loved their baby more than anything, it would be better for their baby to live in a family–genuine, self- sacrificing love like Christ on the cross, as was the case with my sister-in-law. True love is seeking the good of the other. The decline in adoptions is probably due both to abortion and the change in societal norms which enable a mother to comfortably (comparatively, since there’s no shame or guilt) have a child out of wedlock. Btw, I also think that the Muslim care of the orphan is commendable and admirable and wish our culture could adopt it. Muslims are very praiseworthy when it comes to observing their religion. I shudder to think of their treatment of the unwed mom though. In Saudi, they allow her to nurse her baby for a year, then they execute her for fornication. Of course, they consider it a kindness as her death expunges her guilt in their beliefs.
Hi, I just wanted to add a comment. First off my husband works a good job and is going to school. I am a stay at home mom of three and feel that my husband has paid out enough, that if times got hard for my family, I would feel no shame in having to go to the gov’t for help. However, I would come off as soon as possible or if any income changed. That is just how my own personal morals are. Everyone gets down on their luck once in a while. I am lucky enough to afford private school so I do not use the public school or homeschool and at the moment do not need assistance but when my last child was fist born he had to be on that special formula that cost out the butt and my hubby had just started his job and thank goodness for WIC. However, I was only on it for a while cause he got a raise in few months.
To the lady on disability, I may be stereotyping here, but I hope you are not an overweight smoker, that sticks your little decal up on the mirror just to get a closer parking space when in reality you need to walk off the weight…you know the people I am talking about…lol!!!Yes, we can stereotype those people well too
I am not on disability.. my case has not been decided yet. I am a bit overweight due to fluid build up caused by renal failure. You can google that if you like. I do not have a car and I walk or take public transit, unless I am blessed to get a ride with a friend or family member because I cannot afford a car. I am currently living of of my student loans,, which while many will say is GA, but neglect to understand I will have to pay ALL of it back with interest. And believe me the govt will get those student loan payments whether your dead or alive. You dont have to reimburse the state for welfare, food stamps or WIC, although in the case of TANF they just go after the father for the money, but no guarantee that they will get it.
Stephanie, I’m pretty sure momof3′s point was that you stereotype large groups of people and that it doesn’t feel nice to be on the receiving end. God bless you today.
I have a pretty thick skin, so I dont get offended or my feelings hurt to easily. I am tired today as I just got home from my dialysis, so I will be lazy and go take a nap now.
I hope you find refreshment.
It occurs to me that you endure a lot of suffering. Because I am a thrifty person and don’t like to see waste and because I care about the condition of your soul, I make bold to mention the following in the event that you may not have heard it: your suffering is of tremendous worth! Christ, the head, wants us, His body, to be united to Him. When we unite our sufferings to His on the cross, we are making a powerful and beautiful prayer to His Father. Christ takes our offerings, perfects them (since He has already redeemed them) and presents them to His Daddy. We are called to ” fill up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ”(Col 1:24); to “bear [our] share of hardship…like a good soldier of Christ Jesus”(2 Tim2:3). We are “heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him”(Romans 8:17). While it may not feel like it, God is allowing you, Stephanie, a great privelege to participate in His suffering and saving work. Offering your particle of suffering could be your way of loving God and your neighbor, if only you embrace your difficult crosses and offer them to the Father. Remember that if you are a Christian, Christ dwells in you and acts through you. Your merits are His, because you are part of His body. So go on and use your suffering for atonement of sin, the good of your son, for the salvation of those who have transgressed against you and God, for the other ladies who have had to use wic….the possibilities are endless and the gain eternal. Don’t waste what The Lord has given you. Your pain is precious to Him who endured the worst. God help you to suffer with love and find meaning in your pain!
I just wanted to add to this conversation that in my family we currently are on wic and GA. We’ve been on wic since I was pregnant and just recently started reviving GA. I stayed home with my son for seven months because not only did we feel that it would be best for our child, it also would have cost us WAY more for me to go back to work. I was thankfully able to go back to the job I had before having my baby. The biggest reason? I am lucky enough to be able to bring him with me! His father works but his pay is determined by each job he does. We have good and bad months. We couldn’t be more thankful for the help we get.
I don’t see your name anywhere on this blog. I know you go by the name “Lynn,” but without a last name you are anonymous as well. Are you worried about “tainting” *your* reputation? You have our email addresses, so you know more about your commenters than we know about you.